Yeah, l get there about 10.50.
Excuse me.
Sorry.
Oh, girl, right? The party was amazing at best last night.
No, everybody was there.
Look, if you want to see other guys, you need a short skirt and sexy panties.
Oh, hold on.
Yeah, is Hartman here?
Well, he's in the back, baby. Anyway...
''...Mexicans traditionally has surprised the world with all ghost...''
Horowitz!
''...American is moving in...'' -Bay down?
Oh, that would be Bora Bora.
That's a tough one. Don't punish yourself.
Hey, Mary. -Hello, sir.
l have an idea. -Yeah, next what the cost is.
lndeed, l do but better yet.
l have many, and the brilliant plan.
lnstead of doing just one crossword for a week, l can go daily,
l can do five-- -l'm sorry, but we just don't have
space for that kind of content.
No, sir. Crossword is everyone's favorite part of the newspaper.
And we could be just like the New York Times,
where the puzzle gets harder as the week goes.
So on Monday, that traditionally bites the big one.
This isn't the New York Times. We're local paper.
Our readers just want to have fun. -Oh.
Oh, well, sir. lf fun is what they want--
then Mary Horowitz has their fun. Ta-ta!
For Saint Patrick's Day. Up to the mule and deer.
-Opercle. -Wonderful, you guys are such a beatiful couple.
Mary. -Yes.
Do you ever thought working long enough to, you know, like go out, or--
spend time with friends? -No.
Go out a date?
Oh, well, l have a date this evening, sir.
lt's a blind one. My parents set it up.
So obviously l'm going to cancel.
Go on out on your dating. You know, have some fun with human.
Have you moved back in your new apartment?
No, still fumigating.
But l'm just waiting for the chemicals to set off so that l don't get the--
you know, brain cancer.
Well, if l don't move out of my parent's home soon, l will be forced to laboramy.
So it's brain cancer, laboramy.
Brain cancer, laboramy. -Mary. Mary.
Last work, more than everything else. Since you're being normal.
Martin, l need that feature on that pumpkin shortage. ls it ready?
Be normal. Normal.
lf life doesn't crossword, some days are harder than others.
And that's what keeps your brain alive.
They keep us surviving those tough days, used to pick yourself up
and stay focused on your life purpose.
For me, that's imparting the crosswording to all mankind.
Oh, crosswording.
The most spectacular fun a person can have without passing out.
Can l get protection on myself? On good year, if you will.
So these kids set you on fire, you get to work--
300 degrees?
lf l'd survive this, phew, who's gonna blind date tonight?
Yeah, Steve. Steve, yeah.
His mother probably thinks he is gay.
So my parents will no doubt pamper me out to test his sexuality things.
But l'm...l'm going to cancel. l mean, won't you?
You know, l could use a little-- You know what l am saying.
You know, it's been a long time.
Mary Horowitz.
Yes, yes, that is, that's me.
Here's the trick, students.
Miss Mary Horowitz is the crossword constructor for the ''Sacramental Harold''.
You know the crossword puzzle that you see each week in the newspaper?
Well, herjob is to create them. lsn't that fun?
Ladies and gentlemen, people do crossword puzzle all the time.
But they don't often think of the person who made all of the words fix together.
Crossword constructors have above average intellingence
and it helps if they can't spell.
Okay.
lmagine if you were a world.
A world-- -Daniel, you have a question.
You make a living doing that?
Well-- -One puzzle a week
can make you enough to live for?
How do you pay your rent?
Oh, well, my parents have graciously permitted me to bung in their boat
while my apartment is being fumigated.
You live with your parents?
Temporarily, yes, l live at home.
But then again, so do all of you.
Now-- -You don't have a husband, do you?
Or a boyfriend?
Class, come on.
No, not...not...not at this time.
No...No...
Hi, l'm off in Southampton, the 9th physical vertical.
You might not driving into. l can get mine, okay. Okay, alright.
Ouch!
Mary. How'd it go?
Smashing success.
Where they say no perricular matter, meaning master stroke.
Okay, l'm gonna go upstairs and get ready.
Oh, so you're going ahead with the date?
Yes, of course. Look, l'm excited. l am.
Better get going.
l'm gonna fall in love and get proposed to, registered bonds in normal.
Have a beautiful wedding with an accordion band
and little tiny plastic bride and groom on top of the cake, posing like this.
l'm gonna go.
l just want her to be happy. -Yeah.
Go out and have some fun.
You're gonna see the grandchildren. You're gonna have to bend those bamboos.
Carol, l have a date. Blind one.
lf this Steven is anything better than--
excessively hideous, l think we really should try make it work.
Because society wants me to be normal.
Then normal, we shall be, alright.
Yes.
Oh, and Carol l really would appreciate your support on this too.
And by support l don't mean.
Mary.
Knock, knock, knock.
Look at you.
Already have, repeatedly.
Mayor, he's hot.
Please don't mean on the inside.
l'm a cameraman for CCN, a news program.
We don't really wat- -Over the guide called Hartman Hughes...
Hey, Mary. l'm Steve.
Carol, l bring news.
There's been uh, there's been a most unexpected turn of events.
My date is subtantially better looking than one might have predicted.
u know what, Colin Powell once said, there's no secret to suc
...well, clearly he doesn't understand the power of spectacular skivvies.
There she is.
Oh, wow.
Nice boots.
Thank you.
You ready?
So nice to meet you.
Oh yeah, it's raining outside.
Hold this and the door.
Let me get that cord for you. -Thanks again.
Good luck.
Salome.
l have to admit, at first l wasn't so sure about this whole blind date thing.
But now l'm surprised my parents didn't set it up earlier. Especially...
...knowing my mother. Must be some kind of conspiracy.
You good?
He's so not gay.
Oh, man.
lt's really going down, huh?
l thought maybe we could go to, uh, Ernesto's.
They have great tamalis.
And they have this drink called, uh, Elagaole.
lt needs a black rooster and the way they brew those drinks...
Oh, you ok? You good?
Wait, wait, what about your parents?
What about my parents?
Your mom.
She's married. You're not her type.
No, l just wanted to...straight in front of home.
l just mean right in front of the...the house.
l have no problem with that whatsoever.
ls that Steven with a V or Stephen with a PH?
With a V.
l thought so. l thought so.
You know there's over a million Steven's with a V. lt's much popular...
...than PH, right? Of course it's popular. l think it's actually the Brits..
...who prefer their PHs. -Yeah not as much as their fish and chips.
Steven, you really should come in my mother's...
l mean we're both freshly compatible, you in TV and me in...doing newspapers...
...here l'll help you. l think we're both, right, sexually compelled.
l don't know if you noticed like l noticed we're both wearing blue. What...
l mean of course the chances are probably pretty good given that blue...
...is one of the most popular of the 3 colors. Do you, uh, do you like...
...cross reds?
Sure l do.
Really. -Yeah.
So do you know how when the perfect blue gets stuck in your brain and...
...it just explodes into this volcano of mixed emotions. l'm aroused...
...l'm intrigued, l'm amused, l'm perplexed, l'm just like all these...
...these...
Uh-huh. -Yeah?
Yeah, let's go back to the aroused. -Ok.
Ok.
Well, Steven. -Oh.
lt's like we're two rare earth elements just brought together by the...
...Norns, it's just...that's Scandinavian for..for the destinies.
Now l'm going to eat you like a mountain lion.
Oh, you know what? Oh, l'm sorry. lt's my phone.
Why don't you... -Oh, my phone.
Oh, it's probably because of all the grinding. Yeah.
Let me get over here.
Yeah.
Wha- Yeah, what's up?
All right, l'm coming.
Oh, already. Ok, ok. l can hurry. l can hurry.
No, no, no. l got to go to work.
There's breaking news. -Oh.
Gosh, l'm so sorry.
lt's ok. -l got to go to, uh, Boston.
Wow, Boston, huh? That's a spectacular city. No, not only for its tea...
...but for Sam Morse who invented the Morse code.
Get out of here. -Yes, do you want some help?
No, Do you know what, it'd be so much more interesting to stay here then...
God, l really wish you could be there.
Like on the road first tough.
l...l... -But you have ajob to do.
Oh, he likes conkies.
Ok, this was fun.
Ok.
Well, thank you. -Yeah.
Thank god.
Ok. Crazy person.
When l was a fledgling Crusor verbalist. That means crossword constructor...
...l would find comfort in the words of the learned crossword sages...
...My hero is Manny Lesowski, frequent New York Times contributor and...
...all round Crusor verbal master.
Manny says that a crossword puzzle's greatness can be determined by...
...asking 3 simple questions.
ls it solvable?
ls it entertaining?
Does it sparkle?
Yes, ok, so lunch meeting at that Japanese restaurant at 1:30, ok?
l need to...l need to...this crossword is bullshit.
Anyway, he said he was gonna train the woman to leave him so...
This doesn't make any sense.
Well, to me it does.
Of course.
This is strange. Have you tried 6 down?
These clues suck.
l can't get any of these.
Don't even bother. l don't know what the deal is but it looks like every...
...single clue is all about Steve.
One across, Steve's eye color.
5 across, Steve's car odor.
20 across, Steve's lips taste like...
Mint explosion.
Mary, who's Steve?
Oh, an extraordinary... -No, no, that's not what's important...
...what's important is what you've done with this crossword puzzle. l mean...
...it's...it's...
lt's inspired.
No.
Romantic.
No.
Oh, you're a tough one today. Let's see, uhm...
lt's unprofessional.
l...no...that's not the word.
Uhm, ok, let me think.
You are...
You've tarnished the papers reputation.
l mean l really thought that you would have known better than to pull..
...something like this.
Do you have any idea how many readers you've let down?
Uh, 7,402. But... -Mary.
Yes?
Mary, we're gonna have to let you go.
Oh.
l could make it up to you by doing a fishing themed crossword. l know...
...how you love the piscatology.
l'm sorry.
Yeah, well, just, uh...l'll call you...
Police tell us that the chief suspect in the case is one Mr. Mark McGaglon.
Ok, guys, you're set.
Ok.
But l'd get an escalate, right?
Dan, we're talking about this Nick Vasquez going to get an escalate.
Nick Vasquez has six...
Stolen from me.
He was robbed, Dan. All six times.
Thank you, Steve. -l mean he can't help...
...but if he's considerably older than Vasquez.
By older he means experience...
...handsome. -Well...
l'm pretty sure l meant old. -Whatever!
Which one of you geniuses can explain this?
...just needs to stiffen up.
With the two purple flowers...
l think l'd be happy to, Dan. -Looking at the blue brinks on my eyes.
Yeah, what l was going for here was... Oh, look at that smooth question.
...sort of the iconic flower...
...like a mountain range, boom! Two mountains.
ln the Hollywood, they call it a...
Keep talking, fellows.
Keep talking your way right back to the weather channel.
Right back to ten degrees in Buffalo where you may spending most of your days...
...taking close-up shots of kids...
Well, give us something good, Danny.
l mean...
We're fighter pilots, man. -Yeah, we really are.
lt's like sending an F-16 to kill your neighbour's dog.
lt's a waste of our energy. And l need one big report, man...
...to get that anchor desk.
Get out of my office.
This is a big report.
So don't screw it up with anymore stupid pranks this time, Hartman!
And you, Angus. You're responsible for these guys.
Make sure you don't embarrass me...
They screw around, you're out. -Yes, sir.
Remember the escalate.
Mom, l'm working, what's up? -Man, Hartman, you...
No, l haven't read it, why?
Hey, does anybody have a...
Yeah, right here. -Right. Yeah, l got it.
Yes, l ate lunch. What section?
Oh, mom, this is all about me.
This is all about me.
This is hurt...
But obviously...
Where are you?
Hi, there you are. Ok. Do you know what's it work here?
One, l was thinking not going on the date but their negro children of...
...young stream academy kindly...
You know, they... persuaded me to go. Two, my date...
...but he likes my wet boots.
Three, Steve says it would be great if l could be on the road with him.
But of course l cannot, because l have ajob.
Four, only days later l learn, l no longer have job.
Which is obviously just the final clue waiting to the blindingly simple answer:
Onward, Mary Horowitz! Onward, go be with Steve!
What do you mean you don't have ajob?
Missing the point, father. All the clues have been deciphered...
Journey forth? Where?
Father, you're making me crazy.
lf it is news, Steve is there.
...reporting from the edge.
Have we seen Vasquez?
-No.
Too much...
...becoming a dangerous hostage crisis. -30 seconds.
Just can't bring it around...
Well, l want to open up on the dust...
...45 up to your right side. -Alright.
Steve, indicate down the street. And when l'm coming out on the left.
And then right here... -Ten seconds, you're on with Paula.
And five, four, three...
Paula, l've just arrived in Wild Willy's Old Western Town.
At typical day, this street would be busy.
Families' eager to enjoy the wild west life experience.
Tragically today, a man who plays Wild Willy at the outlaw...
...and captured eight of his co-workers, taking them hostage...
...and holding them in a saloon of merely 85 yards away from where l stand now.
Shots have been fired, Paula!
Let's go and hand out, Steve!
lt's unclear this moment who the shot was intended for, or...
...how many lives have perhaps been lost.
Ok, break-in news, Paula.
We have our first confirmed kill.
A horse.
One of many that live here at Wild Willy's Old Western Town.
First victim at the sense of tragedy.
To moments like this, l'd like to believe that there's a heaven just for horses.
Rolling medals, large grasses, spirits of diseased horses gallopping...
May you...
...in heaven of noble horse...
And yet...
...the horse is not quite dead, Paula.
Not quite dead at all.
lt's apparently a trained horse, Paula.
Trained to drop down during Wild Willy's Old West shoot out routine.
This particular horse also sensitive to truck's backfiring on Route 20.
Well...
ln the midst of tragedy, a bliss of miracle.
Cut. -Damn it, Steve! You think this is funny?
You guys can see the horse is alive and you're giving me the...
...bring-in-the-tear signal? -No.. this isn't bring-in-the-Tear signal.
This is: ''Hey, the horse is up!'' This is: ''lt's gallopping!''
You know what they make there?
They make... they make steel. Yeah. Do you know how they make it?
No? l won't go with the whole story, just...
Just the best part, it's like they made from most of the picked irons.
Which... which does not as everyone might think...
lt's a raw iron made from iron and...
And by coke, l mean the...
...not the Cola. Or the sugar.
...is also a town in Alabama.
Yup, you know what they have there? No? No?
That was such an asshole.
Anyone have a party break...
We're going to take five minutes here.
Establishment in deserted areas like this are usually run by...
...family members that are... that are...
No...
Crap!
Hi, do you know when the next bus...
...goes through here? 'Cause l kind ofjust...
...missed mine.
l'm heading that way.
So you're killing the animals? Sort of...
...keeps them on fire, you know, something like that?
No.
What about humans?
Will l tell you if l did?
You can wait for that next bus if you want.
Roughly... 9.85, l will... give this to you and...
May l see your license, please?
Norman James Durwood?
Mary Horowitz. Nice to meet you.
No.
lf you going to right and murder me!
you're going to have my body up into land..
is scare all the way because this independence!
We need homocide they'll stright to you!
And that will be right...
l think we good!
by the other rules cross road that this no concern...
..journal cross the cancel like screaming your lips...
Once you do across with seriously with abandon and with the pen
At prefer media fell in blue...
is about choosing your part one...
And to the meeting to it!
Well, that figure l miss the bus.
maybe you are admit take...
You familiar with the... with the blindness...
You know quite time might be real good right about man.
Hey, Norm
Thanks for not right to me!
My pleasure!
Heydy packer!
Welcome to the Wild Western hats..
l'm ready, get right up the kids!
Good luck! lf Deck this show you the respect...
This respect? What you means?
A manally tack involve he is the stright man in norman something..
..can be help!
But if you means that he some one...
See you Mary!
What happened?
They're all safe. The man surrendered (ha, ha)
(ha, ha, ha) Crap.
What did they say?
Baby Peggy..
in Oklahoma...
Poor little thing.
wuth do extremly work defact third legs...
11 months ago.
Now we're joying one pair normal baby in teh third legs...
the other, once again...
...mother, and three schedule but tomorrow father and mister..
This secure in junction, the father continues to rally support
round the world and cloting...
and god that my daughter leg it will stuck one between the other you too!
So for now the precious child third legs in the hand of the joint!
Hartman from Oklahoma city here the legs...
...and us always from the aged.
Hey guys! What did you think?
ln the next secment thinking about the things...
Peggy is three legal raice againts time!
What did you think..
Ok, want do some of the one!
lntelligent argument in both side!
lntelligent argument guys!
l was born with the peanuts!
l means that peanuts hanging outside the body!
ln like yours!
l'm talking about thinkering and pretty guess inside!
's gotta a proud you like got to be seven grade locking hang in
decide to james on class!
i got all the attention!
Now just got the bigger start!
can you feel? can you feel that?
Right!
Ok, so they cut it all...
l'm run the finish!
ls unbelievable!
This is highlight by morning!
first guys!
Where?
is in the asculated!
Have three security guard!
Look at that, he brought toy!
Son of the bitch!
is got a three leg doll baby!
Angers!
Oh god!
Oh, hey ya!
Good suprised.
Yeah!
-Look at you here! -Great, is took me so long!
You did, you did.
Yeah, llike you have the umbella.
l got suprised.. -We're got a lot.
You'll love!
Well, that's a...
That's scary though...
Thank you!
So you ame here all just want to see me?
Yes sir! Asking you show which is...
You knew i'll say that!
Jesus!
Did you to stay to come here?
Jesus ask you to come here?
No, you did!
Yes, l did.
-Yes you did! -l don't think so!
That's why you found in my breath for you!
You remember?
Oh life found the awful to be great to be authur with me!
Oh yeah!
You big own head, got my little puppy went to town!
l feel good!
Good, well, that's great!
lt will be great!
Cause you are making your big...
..and l will be to right by your side or suppose and crusment...
.and whatever like nursering and courtling a man should quiet!
is pretty much in one man teams...
-ls just me and my camera. -You know it and yes!
You know the news, the news need you...
because l bet my left ovary!
That be peggy that leaving the hospital...
...right there look.
Oh no, that's a nurse!
No, they all dress like!
But the nurse is not wearing, stay alive none for where?
Oh, holy shit! You're right!
l should thank you.. -Go!
First piority your occupation... second pioriry won the cation!
Excuse me, ma'am!
Oh, l'm sorry!
Only media allow up here!
Absolutely! My predential kind sir!
Cruciverbalist?
You gotta stay down there with your friends!
My friend.
Hi, there, l like your butts.
Oh thanks!
Are you Coland or in Thailand?
Either, really!
Oh! This is a Prebag here!
You need to support the baby pack instead with a fight!
Save the baby third laps!
Over there!
or thjose in the time..
What, is the a...s thea traditional functioning!
You are not functioning for my ability spoke the physical and the medical
norminal!
There is a lot of the word.
ln the kinda there!
You gotta understand that!
And addition coming around just cause us!
The post is better snack!
l'm the one that definitely turn like then!
Come around, you can help light the candle!
Ok! Ok!
Now did this...
Vegas...
Whois the deadly in the since!
Nice work!
Right, how did you get that?
This is hot on news!
Reporting from the add...
Alright!
Remember the date...
Yeah,l wanna to do the refreshment!
Yeah, she follow me here!
Here?
Yeah, l saw her in teh bridge...
Think that was he's protest!
She's red butts...
l means, who's care!
l here to see for night years!
l think she thinks that l right in here!
Did you?
No, l means.. kinda...i means...
l was just try to be nice when l get out of ny truck!
He could try get outof my truck!
l can't responsible for that guys!
Of course not!
Unless she cross for that you in formal cross the country!
ls like a stalker? -Stalker?
Steve does!
No...
What? -Big time.
Really?
what's going on with that?
Oh, l'm just telling her about Mary!
Who's Mary that blone in my parent set me up on..
..right in theory but stop talking in phycho PD...
So did she hears?
No...
-l think she... -Red bulls with the protested hot.
You been in fireman? -No.
No, i'm not bang in the fireman!
Alright, l'm gonna got time get some snack...
Oh man, l could use the sort of the shit they died...
.in the twisted lemon.
ls awesome!
You know what you doing? -Yeah
That what i doing...
You know, l know what is he up to!
ls only think that upside down!
Tthis school make me high!
Here, you suppose to use this...
Hey guys! Can l help!
They already meet Hartman!
How l meet with Hartman?
how did you doing?
Not quite sure what you means?
You can sit down there..
So what can you do?
Can you do that?
Mary?
Oh, that news guys!
Hartman Hugles!
So this is the pro light of can!
Handsome group!
ls right.
Your folk is all keeping maybe peggy in normal!
At normal?
Actual lifei s go extra awesome...
Yeah! She's just feel like the tree frog!
A turn parasite in paramony.
l means actual in tree folk!
Yeah! have in all the time is totally normal!
l means in some time.. in order three frogs in sometime..
..they found.. -You know, l read the media time..
We're gonna take a break in few minute!
And ah... sure enough like you to join me!
Oh l can't!
what did you think?
Alright girl!
you go to gone with that media team, nno bed self!
l get your man hardly...
l love you..
Did Steve tell you about the cross that l did!
Oh yeah, there not worst to discribe how much the means to!
Oh they are always work...
You know..is easy to say my fell right the way to done!
so here..she told you all about the incredibloe connection..
..make in intencity...
Oh yeah!
She told you about the... won't shut all about the court..
ls bliss! ls temper in here!
ln song today, they seem like a lorance full in joy!
l don't know! l don't know Steve!
is because you afraid.
You afraid you gonna break his arms!
l won't do that! l won't do that to Steve!
l can't never do that..
You rest the pretty mouth piller huh?
You gonna need the later for.
When l need to know from you right now.
You gonna stick around a long enough...
..to help us work to do Steve fears!
Of course!
He's tell you to go? you don't go!
No, ok!
He's start throw the word around like cooco!
And runny and crazy.
that is spear talking?
-Alright? -Ok, yes!
He try to run away!
l want you to grab him!
Ok...
and when the strange that god give you hang on?
Be calm and focus!
You wanna know why?
Yeah!
You are the rock in thsi relationship!
l'm the rock!
You get glue to hold it together!
l'm the glue! Ok.
Right here, look at me! Focus!
You are the soldier on!
No matter what happen?
Of course! Of course!
You know what l said for the big beautiful eyes?
Like a simulars creation?
A bravery!
Well, come on, l'm nervous!
You go get your steams on!
Ok! Ok!
You said that your hiper?
Yeah, she really hiper!
ls good! ls good!
The command focus one they keep the bottle all inside..
..before you know it! God!
You know, the life is hiper!
You don't have to worry about?
One things she isn't in code!
Oh, you want some?
How she's get in here?
Boy, l miss you!
Steven matter be!
-Let's us talk out side! -Ok, walk and talk!
Ok!
You couldn't stay here! -Sure, l can.
That's the beauty at my job,
l can sending class to anywhere in the world.
No, listen! Listen! Listen to me?
i don't want you here! Ok1
Like you said!
i said...l 'm a guys!
Ok, we say things we don't means!
Well, then, how do l know you means what you saying now..
..when you saying you don't means what you said?
Let's see, that's your weird talking!
Why you so calm?
how come you know is righter?
ls freaking me out a bit...
Steve is all gonna be ok.
You make it and it wonderful!
-Hartman told me everything! -What?
l talk to Hartman Hugles!
-What did you talk to him? - is doesn't matter!
Did he come get you?
-Where he is? -Steven!...
Look at me!
You here with me, is right here!
Look at me! lnternet relationship cannot such you from life plans!
to have any meeting on ability of the life plans.
Must included into the relationship?
You know why l said that?
Psychology lecture Arthur the timer classic friendly be burning...
...in your hair!
We gonna run for...
Hey, Hugles?
Come here!
-Hey, Steve! -Come here!
Yes sir, is one of your plank...
l don't know what you into you know?
You better tell the truth! Ok?
l means in capable things making about the truth!
ok, you tell the lies!
And that l don't want you here!
Ok!
Sorry!
Just think is won't work out!
You gonna find the great guys!
What is that?
l want you guys have a baby!
Why?
You guys belong together!
l'm gonna hit you man!
You not gonna hit the faces, Sean!
Oh stop it!
You guys don't take the violence and to not before you just..
who said that?
Please!
Why you stop thinking that in your head?
No, l never said that...
Your crazy harming in seal...
No fighting!
Guys! be the parent settle!
Sorry!
See what happen, you mess me, that mess with my boy!
Did the hours to spare quick to let inside!
A breathing to hope surgery until baby pattle decide for herself!
ls time for the well for the family once agian!
Start today...
Like the noble three for is third legs is nothing in natural..
..Baby peggy, mark is on!
Steve, l'm coming!
Excuse me!
Thank you anytime, Steve, l'm coming!
Could someone plese help him...
You try to kil me!
this is Hartman Hugles.
Report!
What the hell was that?
is a girl that Steve invited sir!
l didn't invite her? She's stalking me!
Never mind. And the hurricane is now close the Texas!
Get to it!
Sorry, is will never happen agian!
lf you be worst the closer food the guy..
You gotta be reach home by now!
-Yes sir! -Getoff the phone!
Did you hear that about the tree frog, everytime she speak..
..ice melt and angle dead!
l get it Hartman, you try to get back, but Mary is not the way!
She's insane!
She's try to kill me!
Hartman something home with her!
You didn't see that?
l feel down by my taking out for month.
What did you talking about?
She's stalking me!
She's not stalking you Steve..
Tell him l'm not here!
Hello, Mary? How are you?
Last time with the take the question by authority..
l can call your employee to appologize..
..actually appologize in front of him...
So you don't ignore!
So Mary!
We going to down this big storm...
...would you wanna come with us. -What did you doing?
ls she running right side the van?
What's else she got?
Bigger natural bizzare American history!
Ten on..ten on the 90 yard..
Why you stalking him?
l'm not...not stalking, stalking!
-You kinda following the van.. -Well, l won't!
Steven is a smart, loving... if you allow is right!
Loving, telling the human being see it fear.
but l'm not going anyway... Steve on your rock!
-Mary! -Hey, steve, hi!
Go home, go!
You could come!
You know what worst you never seen cross world...
Go! Better then any two other word...
The word go, is fun!
Now that a superfun!
Yeah, cross world not life in that way!
They're only boring there is no sensor in adventure!
We didn't get right on the candles!
is ok,we say along!
Ok! Hi, Mary! Where have you been?
l'm going to meet Steven in next job.
Oh1
Yeah, there's a storm!
Could you please sign the autograph, please!
yeah, l had a car on my way to go through in Alcohoma!
With another world largest peanuts!
l love peanuts!
Especially the jerk one!
Yeah, what, who doesn't.
Well, that...
l'll drive!
Really? Why not?
Alright, let's move!
So ah, what's kind the party at?
Oh , grade..
What years? -76
What did your replace to worry of the charactor?
Yes, the reverse the worker some time in store in whatis good in news.
You're think you can do the nasty, are you sure you won't try this to it?
Oh come on!
Here, kinglset been expected make land for by tomorrow morning1
And what make the situation more fightening?
That's area attack courly in the smiths worst tornado season in history!
And here with things give interesting!
At the worming six pitter my gration and no one know just how..
..demostrating storm could be!
You know the back when everyone concern move with this earth...
..actually the cows...
And the gases is actually doing the most damage is amazone..
Oh, a little record in vented!
Yeah, that is mother Terrisa...
-l am Apple school.. -Really?
-l love that. -Yeah1
Well, l went to school school for psychic but l got board..
..so l am to now to make easy so the more...
Here, make sure that is another one!
You know, l was sitting at home!
Thinking that everything you need in right there!
And you guys just thought...
Maybe this morning! You know?
And maybe this through could be on it!
Here is this!
And now we go out to the hardway here to enjoy some crash air...
i get in too read to you!
Yo, you only think keeping me!
Falling into the bottom addopt to be water!
is this clumsy to be willing!
And they got in storm in hoping this storm was not so that...
...for the 1900...
When 6 thousand people worst their life!
None, ophan, or down the street!
This is hard for you!
ln count this things, in the middle of us...
That is a storm!
reporting from the end!
Alright, good work, good job!
-Holy shit! There .. -Where?
You know, you asshole!
You know what l love dress enough l do...
..a god, those panny and those sparkers..
Guys!
Hold on!
Oh god!
-lt isn't work! -Oh my god!
l can't!
Oh god!
Ok!
guys come on!
Come on, keep runing!
Everybody get in!
We will be ok!
We're gonna be fine!
No concern to prepare the city, my friends!
Oh...
in second terror in photo, look what we got!
Decada!
ls seem only come around every 70 years!
And this very--very more decada in tornado like a once in the life time..
..natural miracle?
Cool...
Wearing perfenity good old cut!
maybe this worst such an good idea in someplaces..
..sucha cross in the garden but with among friends!
And then is sure!
ls perfectly
My car!
Storm is whatelse exactly!
hey, send me celebrity drug fine in..
Give me those!
How the hell do you miss the tornado cane?
Listen, give me another chance.
You make me no choice!
-Please sir...l .. -Get me down street site...
And then l with you all in my office to the more and get night...
Get through all of them, finish!
Find out if that if happy in Nancy!
we need to negotiated hero storm damage.
l'm not scare the love.
i wanna one date with her, mom!
l wanna one date with her!
Complete way in my hand who get's was dizzy tragady in needle one!
Huh?
Hey, kids!
Let's ready for some fun!
ls need the candy first!
-But my favor... -l'm sorry, we're have an interrupt!
Breaking news some silver Cororado.
A group of hearing in a pair of children had plum on abandon mine...
Just who in the cover?
What?
ls there no one else!
And there no nicker injury will be are ben report in crime..
..on the seem in rescues!
Those report that the children fall to the ground collapse on tops of them!
Now that is a great story!
Hey, where did you get those?
Mary could be plams those!
You think he poison your chip?
Can you prove that she didn't? Did you buy them?
l didn't buy them!
You don't buy anything!
Did you but them?
You know poisoning is number one murder in crazy woman!
Are you kidding me?
No.
Hey!
Everything's got it, guys.
l got it plastered, guys.
Give a hood. Don't pollute.
lt's not your fault.
You know my old man was a combat journalist in Nam.
Hard to tolerate a bit huh?
He got killed before l had a chance to say goodbye to him.
Yeah. lf l ever get that anchor dust,
he could be really proud of me and Alan.
Well, looks like we found the eye of the storm, guys.
Holy shit! There is Mary.
Oh my God!
Oh come on.
Steve. Steve.
Steve.
What are you doing?
l needed some air. -What?
What are you writing?
You don't tell me where we're going-
l'm making some notes. Leave me alone.
Steve. Steve.
Oh Jesus! She's got me in chain.
What the hell? She gotta be chained.
l swear to God. l swear to God.
Oh my God!
She's gonna cut my feet off.
l'm not gonna be able to walk, man.
She's gonna make me eat my legs-
She's gonna make you eat your legs.
Yeah. -Oh really.
You want some sort of pomento leg loaf?
Hey you think this is funny?
Just shut up! Just shut up! Just shut up!
Shut up!
Alright?
Jesus! Where do l begin?
Hartman!
For the love of God, stop tanning!
You look like a tea snip.
You look like an orange with lips.
You look like a wrinkled peach.
And you.
Lose the wig.
You look like a retired porn star.
Who are you fooling?
Oh that's a great disguise, Einstein.
The van is sane, dumb ass.
Mary is not a psycho. You're the psycho.
She's just a smart girl with great boobs.
Good words, Angus.
You got some balls in those underwears.
Ok.
Ok. Deaf kid is in the mine.
Silver Plume. Please meet... me.
Please ''meat'' M-E-A-T
Please meat me there. XO Steve.
See? He needs me.
Falling to help with his spelling.
You know what one of my favorite ingredients of crosswording is?
The severance.
lf you quit a puzzle you can't finish it.
Sure every once in a while you run into a doozy that you don't think
you could ever solve in a million years but if you stick with it,
you'd figure it out.
Eventually.
Worst thing you can do is leave it unfinished.
Never the solution is it?
You know what my favorite part of a crossword is?
When you realize you know something you didn't think you knew.
Maybe.
To Colorado then?
Yeah.
-Yeah.
Hey people back it up.
This ground can collapse anytime.
So please. Please.
Vasquez.
Hey, what's he doing with the tent?
Bitch.
l haven't had my big moment yet so we better find something.
Alright. On 3.
3, 2, 1
lt lays in here in Colorado,
and yet danger lurking at every corner
as rescuers bring the Cherubs little chirps off
one at a time.
Thank God they're alright.
Thank you God.
That's the last of them.
The last child is now rescued.
With the parents rejoicing along with the many workers and-
Wait a minute. There's something happening.
The ground is moving the last thing.
The heavy crane is actually shaking all of the sudden.
What happened?
l don't know...
but l smell a lawsuit.
A happy ending and yet parents around the country wondering...
is my family in danger from an abandoned mine?
ls my backyard an abandoned mine?
ls that him?
Yeah.
Well, truth is truth at the end of reckoning.
Shakespeare.
Bye.
How do l keep my family safe from abandoned mine?
Holy shit!
Abandoned mines always aren't safe.
Mary is in the hole.
Don't be ridiculous.
Somebody else went in.
What?
Did somebody fall into the mine?
Tell her help is on the way.
We're working on getting a new crane.
Just need her to confirm she's conscious.
Here.
Oh God!
Alright.
Hello.
lt's me, Mary Harowitz.
Yes but l seem to have fallen to the mine.
Hello. Everyone.
lt's me Mary Harowitz.
Hello.
People, please move back.
Back up. -This ground is unstable.
Back it up.
So she just dove in that hole.
Like a golfer.
No dude.
Not like a golfer. Like a human being.
She was running after you and she fell in the hole.
That's the way to get your heads out of your asses.
That set she's falling into the pitch is priceless.
We got the inside advantage here.
So let's use it.
Get Steve ready to talk about his girlfriend
as soon as we get the graphics together.
15 minutes.
Here they come. -You people are ruining the firm.
Can you comment on the rumours that Mary has fallen into the mine
with a suicide attempt.
That's ridiculous.
Not our Mary.
The word depression is not a hype-vocabulary.
Alright. Obviously it is a vocabulary.
No. No. She never lets anything get her now.
Sir, moving home at her age clearly not a normal situation.
Not normal?
But we love having her here.
Yes. We love having her here.
Human action can't be rushed.
Now l don't wanna speculate here but if the ground did collapse,
could that not result in death or at the absolute least...
horrible disfigurement?
l don't wanna speculate either.
But yes absolutely it could.
And as we await the tragic fate of Mary Harowitz,
attention now on the boots she was wearing when she slipped into the mine.
A story l couldn't tell until l walked a mile...
in Mary's shoes. Take a look.
lt's our one, and it's zipped my feet up in place in vice scripts.
l wore it two hour, Mark and actually right now l feel pretty-
And God said, let there be... Light.
Yes.
Yes this is perfect.
Oh my God!
They forgot one.
You scared the crap out of me.
Hi, l'm sorry.
Can you-
Can you hear me?
l mean at all?
Do you have sensory neural hearing loss
or do you have conductive?
Because if-
Shit. Ok.
You know l understand a little bit of sign language.
So if you wanna, you know-
No? Ok.
Deaf people can do anything except for hear.
Do you know who said that?
Dr. Jordan.
1st deaf president in Caladite U.
Yeah. Maybe you gonna get it one day.
lf we both don't perish in here.
Hold on. l'll be right back. You stay here ok?
Well, Paul will apparently keep it old school and simple.
A piece of paper and no.2 pencil.
This is Hartman Hugnes reporting from the edge.
Cut. Everyone wanna see on this.
l told you l am not her boyfriend, Angus.
Yeah but you're the one encouraged her to come here to begin with.
You are the one that asked her to come here not me. -Guys! Guys!
NNC has got their hands on everything but her panties size.
What?
Our Mary? -Yes.
Son of a bitch!
Vasquez cooped us?
Behold.
Know this if l made a rescue.
Ok. Ok.
This is good news.
They are going to tell us something wonderful.
And it says...
Mary, are you...
l see the sign right there.
Oh God!
Let's just say it, son.
Millions of people are watching.
l think you mean am l conscious.
Not am l conscience.
Conscious means alert and awake.
Conscience is your inner reality gage.
You know, the thing that stops you from doing bad things.
E.g. killing, stealing, harming helpless animals and what not.
Can you leave it down there?
To answer your question, yes, l am conscious.
My leg is bleeding but l would probably live.
Yours truly, Mary Harowitz.
Yes.
P.S. did anyone lose a little deaf girl?
l found one. She's fine.
Although to not being able to hear l think.
They missed a child?
Can't these people count?
Thank God for this woman Mary Harowitz.
Let's bring up that picture of her again.
Yesterday Mary Harowitz.
Today Mary Harowitz hero.
This just an speculation that whether or not Mary Harowitz...
intentionally heaved herself into the mine to save the poor deaf child,
after rescuers ignored her desperate desperate please.
Alright. l'm here with Steve Miller.
Steve's girlfriend Mary Horowitz
struggling for her life down in the abandoned mine.
She's not my girlfriend.
And l'm not gonna say that just to get ratings. Ok?
l really don't wanna do this.
Mary Horowitz described as freakishly intelligent.
These words also describe Tag Lezenski, the Uni bomber.
However you'll never know about this-
But people deserve to know the truth about her.
l mean she sees things that other people don't.
And she's kind and-
l think she means well even though-
when she does thing just a little unusual and she's smart, she's super smart.
And not in a freakish way, in-
like she's a gift.
l mean she knows everything.
Everything but... whom not to trust and how not to get hurt,
and how to survive us.
And she doesn't pretend to be somebody she's not.
And she certainly doesn't deserve to be where she is now.
lf Steve see this, l can-
Uh-oh.
The tracks down there just keep going and going down.
We'll just concentrate on this and that.
Forget that- that's the way.
l'll get us out of here.
l hope that crane gets here soon.
l hope so too.
As the discall been upside down there?
l think he was coming through the top.
Even the concentration is at 5ppm.
They could suffocate.
l am so sorry.
She has stolen a little piece of my heart
What they decided to do say?
They say the her aches are worsing by the minute.
The larger area the greater chance of the collapse.
They thought the air calling was bad.
Try 50 foot spin is dropping down there.
Oh Jesus!
That's a bunch of horror shit. She's gonna be fine.
What else if she won't? We gotta go on.
What are we gonna say?
We just say she's not gonna make it?
Her whole family is watching, Angus! Christ!
l'll be back in a minute.
Alright. 2 minutes. That's it.
Some blind date huh?
Here's a candle.
Help me instead.
l'll feel better if l pretend that it's Mary's surprise party.
l'm making an apple head for Mary for when she gets out.
And she's gonna get out.
This one's gonna work.
Rescuer got desperate for the crane to reach them within the hour.
Helicopters are out of the question because of all the power lines.
Hope is fading fast.
The earth tremblings are getting stronger.
They have to acknowlegde this.
l can't do this.
l can't get us out of here.
Guess what?
Mary Horowitz doesn't have the answers.
Or ajob.
And my job mattered.
l was a sacremental hero crossword constructor and l threw it all away...
for what?
Mary, Steve wants you to come be with us.
He needs you. Really?
Me thinks the media live.
A little?
Words, people. Words.
There are meaningful words.
There are pointless words and then?
There are words that hurt.
Mary, why can't you be like every other girl?
Mary, where did you get all that useless information?
Mary, why do you talk like that?
Mary! Mary! You know this is-
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
And the piece to resist us. Yes.
Mary, why do you wear those stupid red boots all the time?
You wanna know why? Huh?
You wanna know why? Ok. l will tell you why.
l wear them because they make my toes feel like-
10 friends on a camping trip.
That's why l wear them.
We're finished.
The ground is going to collapse.
We're gonna perish. l just wanna go home.
Sorry.
l don't know what you're saying but you talk too much.
l know.
Hugnes.
Not now.
You wrote the note telling Mary to come here.
You brought her here.
And if she dies...
this is just a fence.
Being on that side of it doesn't make you any better.
You did that.
But Mary, she did this.
You work my ticket to normal.
Yeah. Why would you want to be normal?
l don't. l don't.
These will keep you warm.
Maybe someone figure out how to save us.
Maybe. Maybe.
Say that again.
Maybe someone-
Maybe. Maybe.
Little deaf girl, it's time for us to go home.
Why aren't they doing anything?
How much do you weight?
50 pounds? Give or take.
Ok.
Just get it right down here.
Just get all over the joins.
When l got kicked out of girl scout,
all the other girls were learning how to sell cookies,
l was at home reading physic books.
Whoala!
Hartman. What are you doing?
l told you two minutes.
lt's my fault Mary's in the hole.
Blyten Patton said...
a bad plan violently executed today...
is better than a great plan tomorrow.
So l'm gonna pull the lever,
push the cart and up we go, ok?
l'm saving Mary Horowitz.
l'm coming. l'm coming to save you.
What the-
1, 2-
Ok. Pretty good drop.
You two alright?
We were-
We were just on-
Oh something just touched me.
Something bit me. Something.
There's something in the water.
Something... at my leg.
Hartman Hugnes just jumped, l repeat, jumped into the mine.
Grabbing onto a hose that was attached to nothing.
He literally dove right into the mine.
All eyes now not only on Mary Horowitz
but also CCN reporter Hartman Hugnes.
Of hell a night did l get that.
Did you check the perimeter for spiders?
Yes. Of course l did.
lt's really scary down here.
My old man should see me now.
l'm sorry.
l got you into this.
Sorry. -Thanks.
How much do you weight?
And this just pulls back and pulls us upwards.
l'll be cradling her here and l'll be cradling you here.
Maybe you-
You would like to be holding us like this when we go up.
No, it's your plan and l don't wanna take the credit.
l'd like to take the credit. -Ok.
l don't know. He said something about a Patton and a bad plan-
Did you see the cable just moved?
Ok. Get the camera. Right now.
That cable is moving. Looks like they're coming out.
ls there anything l could do to help out?
We're doing everything we can.
l know but can't you take over that weight?
Put in the stroke?
Yes. -Ok.
Yes. -Great.
You ready?
Are you ready? -Yeah.
l just hope this works.
Hold on. -What?
Oh thank you. Appreciate it.
l'm camera ready. -Ok.
Alright. Ok.
3, 2, 1
lf life is like a crossword puzzle,
then its worth, its greatness should be judge in the same way.
ls it solvable?
l think they're coming up.
ls it entertaining?
Does it sparkle?
lncredible!
Oh my God! Mary!
That's Hartman Hugnes. -Mary Horowitz.
And the deaf child.
Everything feels so perfect-
Looks like we're gonna have to give her herjob back.
Our own Hartman Hugnes becoming the hero of this story...
risking his own life to save the life of Mary Horowitz...
and the unidentified little girl.
l'm gonna have to make that idiot anchor.
You ok?
Mary, what are you wearing?
l'm gonna go. -Ok.
Thanks. -You're welcome.
Hey!
Have a nice life.
How do you know there was another child trapped?
Mary, what happen to your boots?
Mary. Mary.
Are you ok? -Yes. Yes l am.
A few lusterations but l was able to-
l never should've said anything to you that-
that are mean.
Well, sorry.
Here.
Thank you for the loan.
You are welcome.
l have to go.
Ok.
Bye.
Mary.
You'll never change for anybody.
l'm Jewish Catholic.
l'm pretty much a setting stone.
You carved it.
Angus.
Let's finish this.
Hartman here.
Move aside.
Hi. -Get in here.
lt's good to see you.
Come on buddy. lt's good to see you.
Hartman Hugnes, you reminded us to believe in miracles.
What does it feel like to be a hero?
l'm not a hero.
l'm a humble guy just lucky to be alive.
And uh... l think any hardworking patriotic American...
would've jumped into that hole...
once you knew there's a little girl down there...
and a good looking lady, single huh?
New York Times crossword editor Will Short says...
we have a natural compulsion of felt of empty spaceness.
l like to think he means not just crosswords.
But the empty space is inside of us...
that come from making our way in a world...
that doesn't know to embrace unique.
l try to fill my empty space with words,
and puzzle, and Steve.
l love you.
But that wasn't the answer.
Now l know.
On the journey of life,
just find someone as normal as you.
You'll find out a whole bunch.
Here's a little bit of fresh Mary Horowitz wisdom.
lf you love someone, set him free.
lf you gotta stalk him, he probably wasn't yours in the first place.
-The End-